The First and Last Day of Forever
by CereuleanBlue
Summary: The honeymoon scene from Breaking Dawn with a bite.  Edward can't stop himself from doing the one thing he most dreads doing.  No Renesmee  YAY


Title: The First and Last Day of Forever

A/N: For bonnysammy. Thank you for your winning bid on the Support Stacie Auction. When you sent me your request, this is immediately what popped into my mind. So I've written you a retake of the honeymoon scene with a "bite" since we're keeping trinity in mind as well.

Also special thanks to KimmyDonn for reminding me that venom can be digested and for the beta work.

Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to SMeyer. No copyright infringement intended.

This chapter starts at the fade to black in Chapter 5 of Breaking Dawn.

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"Where true Love burns, Desire is Love's pure flame."

-Samuel Taylor Cooleridge

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Bella POV

The sand of the ocean floor slipped silently out from beneath my feet, and the warm water supported my weight completely now. Edward's arm wrapped around my waist pulled our bodies close, every point of contact feeling like an electrical wire was connected to it. I could feel warmth spreading out from the core of my being to the rest of my body, and my face and neck flushed with the heat of it. Edward's cool breath on my skin brought every nerve ending there to life, each signal transmitting directly to the pit of my stomach.

I could feel my heart thudding in my chest, louder and louder with every passing second until it became almost deafening. I was certain that Edward could hear it with no problem, but I wouldn't have been surprised if the entire world could hear it as well. Our legs tangled and untangled with the gentle waves as we swayed back and forth, allowing the current to control our movements for now.

I leaned my chin back expectantly, holding my breath as I waited for his response. I exhaled slightly in relief when his lips found mine. As we kissed, I could feel out bodies melting together, the heat of my body melding with the cold of his. His tongue parted my lips softly for the first time, and I tasted something sweet on it, venom. It barely played there for a moment before darting back, leaving behind it the most enticing flavor. I sighed into Edward's mouth as he left me waiting.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" He pulled back from me a little, his eyes filling with concern.

"No," I laughed, pulling him back towards me. Actually, it was more like pulling my body back towards his. Even in the water, he was stronger than me. "That's not fair."

"What's not fair?" His cold breath brushed against my cheek as he spoke.

"Doing that thing with your tongue and then taking it away." I smiled and brushed my lips across the skin of his cheek as he laughed. I drank in the smell of him, pulling it into my lungs greedily. His scent intoxicated me, causing my head to spin and my vision to swim for just a moment.

I dragged my hand along the smooth skin of his chest, pushing it lower down onto his stomach, and his breath caught in his throat for a moment.

"Not so fast," he pulled away.

"Why, not? Edward," I grabbed his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. "Listen to me. I know what you're worried about, but I'm not. Now please don't ruin this for me."

"I'm sorry," he cast his eyes down towards the water that lapped at his chest. I brought myself to him, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. My lips found their way to the hollow of his throat where his pulse should have fluttered and lingered there for a moment.

"I love you," I whispered into the skin of his neck. "You have no idea how much I love you."

He started to speak, but I silenced him with a kiss.

"Shh, let me talk. I'm ready to do this; more ready for this than I have been for anything else in my entire life." I kissed him again, pulling his bottom lip between my teeth and sucking gently.

I could feel his erection between my legs brushing against the joining of my thighs, and the brush of skin on skin there caused something inside of me to unwind, a knot that had been tying itself in my stomach for months now, but the closeness of his body with mine was setting all the wrongs right. My body instinctively moved against his, and the friction caused by the motion sent sparks throughout the rest of me. He pulled me closer, holding me tightly against his chest and increasing the friction between the two of us to an excruciating level.

I could feel my breathing speed up to match my thundering heart, and Edward's breath responded in kind. His hands drifted lazily through the water, ghosting along my back until they reached the place where my legs wrapped around his body and gripping my thighs gently. He carefully unwound my legs and brushed them down until we were pressed face to face, stomach to stomach in the water. Once again, his hands resumed their exploration of my body, constantly moving until he had covered nearly every inch of flesh - nearly.

All the while, his lips never left my own, and I drank the scent of him in during each and every kiss. He allowed his tongue to linger on my lips for only a moment at a time before moving it away cautiously, but each time leaving the most addictive taste behind.

Edward's fingers finally found the one spot on my body that had been screaming for his touch. Moving excruciatingly slowly inch by inch, he caressed me, exploring the folds of skin with the lightest stroke. I sighed, breathing into his mouth, and this time he did not pull away. Instead, he pulled me closer, trapping his arm between us.

His fingers continued their attention to what had suddenly become the center of my being, driving me nearly over the edge. How many times had I wished for this from him, dreamed of this? Yet, no matter how many times I had imagined it, nothing could have lived up to the reality of it.

I could feel the muscles of my abdomen contract as I grew more and more affected by his touch. Unexpectedly, he withdrew his hand, and I groaned lightly in protest. He covered my lips with his own, mirroring my actions from a few moments before, and trailed kisses down my chin and neck, hesitating a moment at the pulse point near my clavicle before continuing his journey down my body.

His mouth found the skin around my breasts, and he lavished attention on my chest, his head dipping below the surface of the water every few seconds. He came into the air less and less often as he sank into the salt water. His kisses traveled down my abdomen, lingering at my belly button, and continuing further until he found the object of his attentions. I closed my eyes, savoring the sensation of his tongue against my skin.

When his tongue found the bundle of nerves between my thighs, I saw flashes of light behind my eyes. If I thought the torture of his fingers on me was exquisite before, it was nothing compared to this. My entire body was suddenly on fire, burning from within in strange contrast to the water that surrounded us.

I could feel his body supporting mine under the water, his tongue trailing liquid fire as it grazed along my most sensitive area. His hands cupped my bottom, pulling his face closer to my body. My muscles tensed, drawing my legs ever tighter around his neck until I was certain I was choking him, but still, he continued until I was certain that I was going to die. At least I would die a happy woman.

Just when I thought my body and brain wouldn't be able to take it anymore, something released like a rubber band inside of me. I could feel the tension drain from my body as I cried out Edward's name over and over into the water. After a few moments, he rose to the surface silently.

He swam gently, taking me in his arms and pulling me along gently towards the shore. My lips continued to find purchase on various parts of his neck and collarbone as the water swirled gently around us. Before long, he reached the point where his feet found the sand beneath us, and I could feel the water retreating down our bodies as we rose with the ocean floor.

Edward carried me across the sand, the heat of the day radiating from the ground below. My arms were wrapped around his neck, and I barely noticed the rest of the island lit in the brilliant moonlight. He effortlessly pushed open the glass inlaid doors that separated us from our goal, eliminating the last impediment between us and the bed. Before a moment had passed, I felt the soft cushion of the down comforter meeting the bare skin of my back as he laid me down on the mattress.

EPOV

Bella looked so beautiful, with her wet hair streaming around her naked body as she lay on the bed. I didn't think I had ever seen anything I wanted so much, yet was so scared of possessing. The heat of her radiated out, gently caressing my abdomen and lower, carrying with it her scent. That scent, so intoxicating in its own right, did nothing to improve the lack of control that I was already beginning to feel. I knew I couldn't surrender to it - ever.

For the moment, I held my breath until I felt some sense of jurisdiction over my own faculties, and I was able to take in the sight and smell of her without losing hold of myself. I could sense the nervousness in her expression, and I suppose my hesitation wasn't helping her composure at all.

"Bella, we don't have to do this right now if you don't think you're ready." I tried to reassure her, to let her know that it would be alright if she didn't think she could handle this right now. In fact, I would probably have preferred that situation because I wasn't sure how much the limits of my restraint could be tested before they would completely give way. Feeding was an instinct for me, stronger than most, and, although I was used to keeping it in check, I wasn't sure I would be able to once I gave way to other instincts.

She smiled at me shaking her head, "It's alright Edward. I'm ready." She trailed a finger along my arm, the one that was supporting my weight over her.

"God, you're beautiful." She blushed at my compliment, but I mean it with every fiber of my being. My body longed to be close to hers, begged for it, but something in my mind held me back. That nagging little feeling that I wouldn't be able to stop myself before I did something that we both would regret tugged at the back of my mind. Yet the sight of her body, flushed with desire for me was more than I could resist.

I lowered myself down onto her, our limbs fitting together like matching pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, and nothing in my life had ever felt so right, so perfect. I positioned myself carefully, wanting to make this experience as comfortable as possible for my love. I slid my manhood into her slowly, gently, inching my way inside. I could feel her warmth pulling me in further, but I held back afraid of hurting her.

She cried out as I entered her, but it was easily distinguished as a cry of pleasure rather than pain. I took her frantic sounds as a sign that I could continue and pushed myself completely inside. When I had reached the hilt, I felt something come over me like a fever. My mouth found its way to her body beneath my own, my lips heatedly exploring the skin of her chest and neck as I filled her.

I had to know Bella inside and out, to possess her and make her completely mine. This monster inside of me wouldn't settle until she belonged - heart, soul, mind and body - to me. Nothing less than complete and total surrender would do. I continued moving inside of her, spurred on by the way she moved underneath me. I felt her body clench down on me, driving me nearly to the edge, but I held back, slowing myself to regain power.

I gripped the headboard, leaving dents where my fingers pushed into the wood. I thrust gently at first, but with more and more rapidity as we progressed. Bella's legs wrapped around my waist, and she moved with me, her warm body setting fire to my cold one. Her voice called my name out over and over again, and the sound of it from her lips was more than I could take. At that moment, I gave over to her completely releasing all command of my senses.

My lips regained their place at her neck, and before I could realize what was going on, I tasted the warm, salty liquid flowing across my tongue as her blood flowed generously into my mouth.

My first instinct was to drink, swallow her whole, taking her very essence into mine, and make her one with me. This was the one thing I had longed for and had denied myself for months on end. I craved her, more than I had craved anything in all my existence.

The flavor of her was exhilarating, just as I remembered from that horrible day in Phoenix. Only, this time I was the one endangering her life. At this realization, I pulled back, quickly releasing her from my confining weight.

"Oh God, Bella," I examined the bite mark carefully on her neck, and her hand immediately jumped to the spot.

"Edward," she clutched the spot where my teeth had damaged her skin, "what happened?"

"I bit you. Maybe we can draw the venom back out, like we did before." I could hear my voice picking up in tempo in response to the emergency unfolding before my eyes. The one thing I had promised myself I would never do, and here was evidence of my broken promise blossoming like a gruesome flower on her neck. I moved towards her in order to attempt to undo some of the damage I had inflicted upon her, but she stilled me with one motion of her hand, before she spoke.

"Wait," she spoke calmly, but I could sense the increase in her heart rate from the burning venom. "Before you do anything, consider this. This is what I wanted, what I've always wanted, and I can't think of a more perfect moment for it than now." Her breathing grew ragged, but she continued to speak even though her voice was becoming strained. "Just let me go. It's time. You promised me, Edward… Forever."

My thoughts raced as I considered the options and the implications of each possible choice. I had promised Bella that I would transform her myself, but I hadn't wanted to follow through with my portion of the bargain quite so soon. I'd expected to have weeks to convince her to change her mind about the whole thing, to talk her out of her own damnation, but now I had only seconds to decide, minutes if I was lucky.

She looked at me pleadingly, "Edward. . ." I could see the venom beginning to burn its way into her beautiful brown eyes, staining them with the faintest hint of crimson, and it caused my heart to sink in my chest. I wasn't certain that I would ever be able to forgive myself for doing this to her, but I didn't have it in myself to deny her what she wanted so badly. My mind was torn with all the options, but time was steadily ticking away, with every second I wasted the possibilities narrowed. Soon there would only be one choice left. Eventually, I gave way to her wishes despite my own misgivings.

"Bella, close your eyes and lie down. Now, listen to my voice. I'm going to try to talk you through this. It's going to hurt. There's nothing I can do to help that, but focus on me instead." She followed my instructions carefully, lying back on the bed and closing her eyes. I began to hum the lullaby I had written for her, our song, to calm her nerves. It seemed to have some affect on her.

I placed my lips on her collarbone opposite the wound I had previously created, and bore down on the flesh there with my teeth. It yielded with very little pressure, and I allowed the venom to flow generously from my mouth into the puncture. I repeated the process at her wrist, inner thigh, and ankle, places where the blood flowed close to the surface, to allow as much of the poison as possible to enter her system and ease the transition the best way I knew how. She moved a little in response to the first bite, but she drifted into unconsciousness more and more fully with each successive one, until finally she lay unmoving.

Her breathing became more even and her heart rate slowed slightly. I was amazed at the restraint

she was showing. It shamed me. I hadn't even been able to stop myself from injuring the woman I loved, and here she had the self-control to lie so quiet and still when the venom was burning its way through her body. Each and every cell in her being must have been on fire. I hung my head in my hands, and if I had been capable of tears, I would have wept.

BPOV

The venom burned its way though my body, and I felt my consciousness disconnect from everything that was going on. It was as if my soul floated slightly above my body as it lay on the bed, tenuously connected via a golden string.

The string reverberated, attracting my attention. The sound that came from it reminded me of something that I had heard long ago, a song. It distracted me from the tempest that was going on in my human remains. The shell of me lay behind, being consumed by fire, but my spirit soared on wings made of this lullaby.

I lost all track of time and several eternities might have passed while I floated through the pain in a perpetual twilight, neither sleeping nor waking, but the only thing that held me connected to the real world was that song. Edward's song, Edward's voice. Occasionally, I could hear him speaking familiar words into my ear.

"O my love, my wife, Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty. Thou art not conquered. Beauty's ensign yet is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks, and death's pale flag is not advanced there." I recognized the words, my memory pulling them back from months before, when we sat on Charlie's couch watching Romeo and Juliet.

After a while, I could sense things reaching a critical point in the body below me, something about the way my breathing quickened. My heart seemed to beat so quickly it became more of a buzz than a steady rhythm, and the string began pulling me back down slowly into my accustomed place. When the two halves of me merged once again, I could truly feel the extent of the burn for the first time. I had some vague inclination of it before, but now it hit me with a full force. It filled and surrounded every atom and left every nerve a throbbing line hard-wired directly to my brain.

My heart roared in my ears, drowning out all other sound, so that for the moment I lost him in my sea of pain. This continued on for a short while; it must have been only moments, but the pain made it drag out into hours, until finally the thudding in my chest reached a crescendo and then stopped entirely. The fire began to retreat from my limbs, withdrawing to my center, until only a tiny speck of it remained in my chest, where my heart used to hold court.

The sounds of the room around me quickly came into sharp focus. I could hear the rush of the wind through the palms outside the door, the ocean waves lapping at the sandy shore, small birds treading the sand looking for morsels left behind by the sea, and Edward once again humming that familiar melody. But something in his voice was different, something I had missed before. It was like I was only hearing the surface of its true sound before. What I heard now was much more complex, much more beautiful, a symphony in comparison to the tune I had in my memory.

I lay still listening for some moments before I opened my eyes. When they fluttered open, another shock hit me. I felt like someone who had been blind since birth that had suddenly been given the gift of sight. The first thing I saw was the white plaster ceiling above me, and the sight of it was mesmerizing. Dust motes that were too tiny for any human eye to distinguish, floated through the air between it and myself, like miniscule clouds in my own private sky. I inhaled sharply, the air satisfying something deep inside, and smelled the salt air, the sand, and something else that I didn't recognize at first.

An almost honey-lilac-sunshine scent hit me, and I turned, a little too quickly, to find the source of it. Edward swam into my vision, and I drew a sharp hissing breath at the sight of him. His face was nothing like my recall of it. My mind had been inadequate, unable to truly comprehend and catalogue each startlingly perfect visage. I had no words to describe it now. Beautiful was insufficient, and gorgeous left much undescribed. Exquisite merely scratched the surface of what he was. Each and every inch of him left me in a daze, and I now understood that I could spend the rest of my life studying this face and never learn all the secrets and surprises it held for me.

The rest of my life…

The thought produced a laugh from me, and my ears registered the musical sound. However, my mind couldn't process that it had come from me.

"Bella," Edward spoke cautiously from his seat next to me on the bed. He looked poised to move quickly if needed, his arm pressing firmly into the down comforter next to me. I got lost for the moment in the slight ripple of the muscle in his arm as he tensed a little, and forgot to answer him.

EPOV

I sat with some trepidation on the ledge created by the open space on the bed. I feared more than anything else that she would hate me for doing this to her, for making her go through this process. I well remembered the pain and suffering I had gone through nearly a century ago. I also feared she would loathe me for the damnation of her soul.

I had heard her heart stop a few moments before, but she still lay as silent as the grave on the bed. With the absence of pulse or breath, she made a very convincing corpse. It broke my heart to see her like this, but I knew it was temporary. I could see the changes the venom had wrought in her body, refining its current perfection into something otherwordly. Her skin became glazed porcelain and all the small imperfections that her eighteen years had accumulated were washed away. Her hair was dry now, and it curled gently around her. The sheen of the light playing on it was perfection itself.

I continued to hum her song, to help her through whatever remained of the torment until the moment she came back to me, and without warning her eyes snapped open. She lay there staring at the ceiling, the rest of her body unmoving until, again suddenly, her chest heaved taking in a deep breath of air, as if for the first time.

Milliseconds later, she turned over on the bed, lying on her side to face me. I knew she was awake, and I saw her eyes drink in my face and light up with recognition. I knew that even the slightest particle of dust would have her entranced. I remembered how disconcerting those first few months had been. Everything was a distraction, each sound, smell, and sight had pulled my attention away from any task, and the thirst was nearly unbearable. I counted it fortunate that we were on an island miles away from the nearest human.

I hadn't left her side for a moment, but I had used the satellite phone stowed in the bedside table to phone the cleaning staff and let them know that their services would not be needed this week.

Let them think that the honeymooners wanted their privacy; it was true enough. Perhaps, not for the reasons they suspected.

Every minute of the past three days had been torture for me. I didn't even have the comfort of being able to read her thoughts to give me some inkling of what she must have been going through, all the while blaming myself for doing this to her. I looked into her eyes, shining rubies that had replaced the chocolate brown I had grown accustomed to, and wondered. I needed her to speak, to tell me that everything was fine, that she didn't hate me and want to leave me forever.

A laugh escaped her throat, tinkling in my ears, and the sound was musical. It woke me from my thoughts, and gave me some hope for both of us.

"Bella," I spoke her name softly, but I knew that with her flawless hearing she would pick up anything I said to her right now. She looked down from my face to the arm that propped me up against the bed, seeming to study each and every part of it, taking it in the way she used to pour over the pages of one of her beloved books. I knew her attention would be diverted as long as I allowed it to be, so I spoke again.

"Bella?"

Her eyes snapped back to my face, and she sat up on the bed in one swift motion. It left her looking anything but human. This exquisite creature now was facing me, and it was now impossible to mistake her for anything other than what she truly was - an angel. She studied my eyes for a moment and smiled. That smile undid the chains that had bound me for days on end. If she could smile at me that radiantly, then there was still some chance that she could find it in herself to forgive me for what I had done.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to do this to you. Can you ever forgive me?" The words all came out in a rush. They had been building up inside of me for days, and the dam broke when I saw that she had come through it unharmed.

She studied my expression, confusion sweeping across her features. Taking in a deep breath, she opened her mouth to speak, and the most enchanting sound came out. Her voice itself was a spell, and the words it carried even more so.

"Sorry? Edward what are you apologizing for? I wanted this; I wanted us, forever, and you've given that to me. I should be thanking you…" She smiled as she spoke, melting the ice inside of me.

"Thanking me?" Now it was my turn to be confused. Why would anyone thank me for stealing their soul?

"Yes, thanking you." Her hand reached up to cup my cheek, and instead of the burning fire I was used to from each contact, I felt a temperature that matched my own. I closed my eyes leaning my face into her touch. I didn't have to hold back any longer; there was no fear that my strength could hurt her. From the resistance her hand gave to my cheek, the opposite was most likely to be true. She would have to be careful with me, at least for a time.

I took her hand from my face and held it clasped in mine, studying its every feature until I found the courage to look into her face once again.

"You should never thank me for stealing your soul, Bella. What I've put you through has been …" I couldn't finish the thought. Just imagining what she had gone through for the past few days had broken my heart.

"Edward, will you trust me when I tell you that I wouldn't have gotten through the past few days without you and your voice bringing me through it all? I would go through it a thousand more times to spend the rest of eternity with you." Her words were honest, and knowing Bella as I did, I could detect nothing she was hiding within them.

I sat shocked at her words. I'd expected her to turn from me, leave me here to wallow in my own regrets and waste away, for I knew that's what I would do without her in my life. I'd contemplated the thought on more than one occasion and I knew the answer to my unspoken question. But now it seemed the question itself had been unnecessary.

I had no words to describe to her my relief, so I merely took her in my arms, knowing that today was the first and last day of forever. Mine and hers, together.


End file.
